Used-People

USED PEOPLE

".............and it has been an integral feature of my life. I am usually not good enough to be the number one in the life of others. No matter how significant the role I play in their lives. No matter how meaningful my contribution is in their life, I am usually good for the reserve bench, never in the starting line up. I usually get reckoned with in the life of others when the individuals or things they consider or revere as the best lets them down. While they offer the preferred ones the important spot in the living room or bedroom of their lives, I usually end up either in the backyard or on the street. On their list of individuals or things reckoned with, I am usually lost somewhere in the middle. At times somewhere near the end of the list. But if something comes up in their life that demands care, attention, compassion, counselling, love, understanding, emotional uplifting, divers forms of support and sustenance, acceptance,......... that is where I usually come in. Then am I reckoned with. That is when I am needed to get off the reserve bench, and play active and significant role on the field of their circumstances. Usually at that point, the normally esteemed folks that get all the attention and recognition would have let them down. My shoulders become so important it can be cried on and leaned on. Then will the rejected stone become the chief conerstone. The nonentity becomes an entity. The undesired becomes the centre of attention. The sandbag miraculously turns into a treasure. But it's not for long. I am soon to be relegated to where they believe I belong. When the going gets good again, I'm made to assume - for the umpteenth time - my usual status as a rejected stone. Of course, you know what I am talking about. Were you not the same person who along with your mother threw me out of your home on a hot sunny day? Remember that day? Before my coming to your home, you called and treated me to one of your demeaning attitude over the telephone. You put me down on the grounds of ancestry and origin. You spoke to me using very unkind words not for any other reason other than to make me feel worse so you can feel better. You more or less arrogate the position of superior to yourself while speaking to me that day over the 'phone. You tortured me by intentionally using your words and attitude to sow seeds of hurt in the field of my feelings. Didn't you hang up on several occasions without giving me a chance to say a word? You know very well how those gestures make me feel. Just to have a sense of power and dominance, you trample on my emotions with no regard. As I was saying, before coming to your home, you spoke to me in your customary insolent manner. I told you I have your Yearbook with me. And how did it get in my possession? You were not present in school when Yearbooks were given out. Knowing fully well that you paid for one, I received it on your behalf and even got a teacher to sign in one of the autograph pages. I couldn't reach you by the 'phone since you changed your number and got a private number. That makes it easy for you to call me and say anything you like and hang up. There is no way I can contact you. You wickedly took advantage of the situation and assume mastery of my feelings. You find those moments of torture and harassment quite gratifying. I can't even believe that with the insolent way you told me to bring the book - despite lots of things you have done in the past -, I still find it in my heart to walk under that blazing sun, sweating to your place. How was I received? You took the book - along with the audiocassette I promised to give you sometime ago - from me in an arrogant way. Your gesture was very mean and cruel. I have never seen a person treat a guest that way before in my life. Sad enough, I happen to be that guest. You use the door to push me away from the entrance. You did not even let me into your home. You lied about cleaning the place. You know that I am aware that you were lying but you just don't care. I asked for a glass of water to quench my thirst. My throat was patched due to my long walk under the sun. I needed to rest a little. But you turned down my request for water. Your mother soon joined in the party. Despite the fact that she is older, she did not prove any better. She made it worse. She came up with the same attitude. You rejected me right at your doorstep. Thank God the roles I had played in your life all along, I had played them with a heart for the LORD. Thank God I did them all for His glory. Did the scriptures not state that

"And let us not be weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all men, and especially to those who are of the household of faith." (Galatians 6:10).

Thank God I did not do them in attempts to please you or obtain reward of any sort. Thank God I did them with the intention of fulfilling the ministry that the good LORD has placed in my hands. I did them all knowing fully well that I an accountable to my Master. And indeed like David said to Saul,

"The LORD rewards every man for his righteousness and his faithfulness........ Behold, as your life was precious this day in my sight, so may my life be precious in the sight of the LORD, and may He deliver me out of all tribulation." (I Samuel 26:23-24)

You purposely subjected me to treatments that deprive me of human dignity. The same dignity I strive to ensure you are not deprived of that makes me offer my shoulder for you to lean on - even at times when it is not convenient for me. After some time - as usual - you began to make attempt to maintain contact with me when you needed to use me for the umpteenth time. As usual you treated me to your moving story of repentance and renewed religious vigour for the LORD. And the explanation for your cruel treatment? As usual, you claimed you did not know what got into you. I have heard that before. Even though some claim one of my strong points is having such a big heart and broad shoulders, some also believe that it is also my weak point. I can understand the observations that underlie their belief. But that's fine. All to the glory of God. I leave all in the hands of the LORD. I did all for Him. And I know He will bless me accordingly.......

"..........yet with all this I did not demand the food allowance of the governor, because the servitude was heavy upon this people. Remember for my good, O my God, all that I have done for this people." (Nehemiah 5:18-19).

Can you identify with the above narrative? Does it seem as though the words expressed are making your heart jump in excitement? Well, friend, why don't you read on.

It is quite possible to experience that overwhelming and convincing feeling of being used by others. At times, one tends to feel like a sponge - something that ends up being discarded after being used. The scripture pointed out in Galatians 6:9: "And let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart."

"Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For He who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption; but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all men, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."

Give your best to the world, and the best will come back to you, isn't it. It may seem like when you do nice things to people, what you get back in return is insult or ingratitude. Or maybe, you end up being spitefully used or mistreated. You may realize as time goes on that some people only remember you when things don't go well for them. Once things are back to normal for them, they treat you like an unimportant person. Keep in mind at all times David's words to Saul,

"The LORD rewards everyone for his righteousness and for his faithfulness........ (I Samuel 26:23)

Whatever we do in life, there is bound to be result that comes back. If it seems as though you are being spitefully used by others, you may see the need to allude to the fact that you are not doing it for them, rather, you are doing it for the LORD. This is a way to keep up good deeds, and minimize the tendency to be weary. It is very easy to get weary of well-doing. It is easier done. Why? Because the feeling of being used readily creeps in on one, and it often tends to be overwhelming.

Numerous folks engage in 'good deeds' with the intent to obtain some sort of advantage from others. For instance, demonstrating seemingly good gestures, towards members of the opposite gender, with the intention of obtaining physical gratification somewhere down the road. What if the underlying intention is not easily carried out? Where ulterior motive is established, it may not come as a surprise if one readily chose to get weary in 'well-doing'. Under such circumstance, one may just as well stop 'well-doing' when one feels being 'used'. But there are situations whereby from the word onset 'well-doing' is being done with the heart for the LORD.

"When the Son of man comes in his glory, all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and He will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left. Then the King will say to those at his right hand, 'Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and we give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me." Then he will say to those at his left hand, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.' Then they also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?' Then he will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me.' And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." (Matthew 25:31-46)

"He who receives you receives me, and he who receives me receives him who sent me. He who receives a prophet because he is a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward, and he who receives a righteous man because he is a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward. And whoever gives to one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he shall not lose his reward." (Matthew 10:40-42)

One way to minimize the feeling of getting weary of well-doing is by considering not just the good deed, also, the heart from which the deed originate from. You may need to ask yourself these questions: For whose sake was it done? Who was it done for? Because of whom am I carrying out the deed? The issue is not what you are doing; it is the kind of heart you have while doing it. Who do I have the heart for while engaging in well-doing? Am I doing it for the LORD? If I tell you that what I am doing, I am doing it for the LORD you may believe me. But the LORD will search my heart to see if my words correspond with my heart. He will know if I am entertaining falsehood. He will know whether or not I am worthy of His reward.

More often than not, we say we do things for the LORD simply because we've heard others say so couple of times. But maybe in actual fact, we are running our own agenda to fulfill our own ends. Who do I have at the back of my mind when I get involve in well-doing? Who do I have at the back of my mind when I get involve in well-doing? When and if you and I have the LORD at the back of our minds, then can we speak like David,

"The LORD rewards everyone for his righteousness and for his faithfulness........ (I Samuel 26:23)

Whatever role David played in the life of Saul in the past was devoid of ulterior motives. Otherwise, when he saw Saul sleeping in a cave, he probably would have harmed him instead of sparing his life. Of course, Saul would not do the same with David's life if the latter were to be in similar situation. Don't forget Saul and his troops were on a mission to find and eliminate David when the latter saw the former and his men resting in the cave. It was Saul who turned David from citizen to fugitive. The reigning king injected trauma into the life of the future monarch. For some period in his life, David became a wanderer. When David had the opportunity to exact a measure of revenge and put an end to his problems by killing Saul, David refrained from doing that. David would not allow Saul's unsavoury conduct towards him to bring him down to the latter's level. David would not lift a finger against Saul - not even against his carcass! In his own words, whatever he has done that was beneficial to Saul in particular, or to the nation in general,

"The LORD rewards everyone for his righteousness and for his faithfulness....... (I Samuel 26:23)

Give your best to the world, and the best will come back to you. Isn't that a common saying? Once you know Who you are doing whatever we are doing for, whether or not individuals who benefited from your well-doing express gratitude or acknowledgement, we are rest assured that our labour is not in vain. Keep in mind, words similar to that of David had better of not be a diplomatic speech that is full of appeal but devoid of sincerity. It is not something you say so people can think high of your piety. It is not something you say so they can think you are one huge philanthropist that deserves honours, awards and recognition. Human being can read your lips but they can not read your heart. The LORD who is able to read the heart as good as He reads the lips will see that all is done for His glory. If you are truly in God's service, and what you are doing is genuinely in fulfillment of your ministry, always keep in mind that your heart is like an open book in the sight of the LORD.

"Do not be deceived; God is not mocked,......" (Galatians 6:7)

Whatever you do always keep the LORD in mind. He is quite aware of your every move. He is not as nonchalant as some folks think He is. Once you get involved in well-doing for the LORD, you more or less put yourself in a situation whereby you may not receive much in terms of compensation or recognition. Sooner or later, you will get used to well-doing that is based on intrinsic motivation. Of course, at a point, some people will think you've lost your marbles. Some will even think you have become simple. Some bookish folks may even associate it with mental or intellectual problem. But rest assured friend, the LORD understands. You are not involved in well-doing to please anyone except the LORD, are you?

Well-doing that is based on intrinsic motivation for the LORD is a sign of humility. By putting yourself in situations whereby you may not receive much in terms of compensation or acknowledgement, you inadvertently put yourself in situation whereby you may not receive much in terms of esteem or honour or prestige. Of course, an average person craves esteem, honour and prestige. You end up depriving yourself all these things so the LORD can be put first. You end up advancing the LORD's cause. You soon discover you are advancing His kingdom. You discover too soon you are leaving a worthwhile impression of the LORD on the minds of those you come across. Without opening your mouth to preach, your actions speak louder than words. And before you know it, you have turned the hearts of many in the path of righteousness. Before you know it you have given many reason to consider giving their lives to the LORD at some point. You realize too soon that you have actually stepped into the shoes of John the Baptist who said regarding the Lord Jesus

"I will decrease for him to increase......"

Even though you are mostly out of the picture, God gets the glory. Keep in mind, whatever brings glory to the LORD makes Satan lose face in his kingdom. How do you expect the LORD not to want to bless you? Did He not say in His word,

"Honour me and I will honour you."

According to Malachi 3:14-18,

"You have said, 'It is vain to serve God. What is the good of our keeping His charge or walking as in mourning before the LORD of hosts? Henceforth we deem the arrogant blessed; evildoers not only prosper but when they put God to the test they escape.'" Then those who feared the LORD spoke with one another; the LORD heeded and heard them, and a book of remembrance was written before him of those who feared the LORD and thought on his name. "They shall be mine, says the LORD of hosts, My special possession on the day when I act, and I will spare them as a man spares his son who serves him. Then once more you shall distinguish between the righteous and the wicked, between one who serves God and one who does not serve Him. (Malachi 3:14-18)

"On that night the king could not sleep; and he gave orders to bring the book of memorable deeds, the chronicles, and they were read before the king. And it was found written how Mordecai had told about Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king's eunuch's, who guarded the threshold, and who had sought to lay hands upon King Ahasuerus. And the king said, "What honour or dignity has been bestowed on Mordecai for this?" The king's servants who attended him said, "Nothing has been done for him."............, and the king said to him, "What shall be done to the man whom the king delights to honour?" (Esther 6:1-3,6)

We are reminded that the LORD keeps record of what we do. And what does He do with it? Forget it in His archives? No! At some point, He checks his records, and He takes action. It is human to feel used while involved in well-doing. Some of the beneficiaries of your well-doing may, at a point, pay you back by railing on you, rejecting you, discontinuing relationship with you, backbiting you, discrediting you, subjecting you to one form of abuse or the other, or persecuting you. You may be treated in the worst possible way you yourself may never think of treating them. You give them important, high-on-the-priority place in your heart only to realize that they find it hard to find some spot for you in theirs. You attempt to lift them up, only to realize that they will prefer to put you down. These are factors that can make people grow weary in well-doing.

Some individuals who love to mock Biblical values, especially worldly minded folks, consider it ridiculous to think they will have to wait till they get to some imaginary place call heaven to reap some reward.

"Jesus said, "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundred fold in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life." (Mark 10:29-30)

Believers are often teased of deluding themselves in the saying of the Lord. Fact is, belief in Jesus' saying is not the illusion it is often associated with. It is indeed a reality.

It is easy to ask an individual not to get weary in well-doing. Keep in mind that

".......the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." (Mark 14:38)

The Holy Spirit is available to supply the assistance. The more intense the activity and ministry of the Holy Spirit is in our life, the more equipped we become in overcoming weariness in well-doing. The Spirit is able to put you in the appropriate mood or state of mind, and confer on you the appropriate personality, over a period of time. At times, you look back and you find it hard to believe you indeed played such important roles without succumbing to weariness. You may ask yourself at times, "My goodness, what was I thinking?" Maybe you weren't thinking, maybe the Spirit was guiding and inspiring you in the direction of God's will and purpose.

"For he who sows in the own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption; but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap the reward, if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:8-9)

At times, you wonder: was I stupid or what? NO, you are not stupid. you can't be deemed stupid if and when you are inspired by God's Spirit to carry out a task. Rather than entertain the notion or explanation of stupidity, see it as the opportunity the LORD gave you to be of use to His glory. Thinking you are so naive and daft does not explain the work of the Spirit; being a vessel or instrument of God's use is more like it. The Spirit not only inspired you to do it, He also supplies the strength, courage, and joy that is needed to carry on without necessarily succumbing to weariness. If you feel used or abused in the course of well-doing, it does not imply that God is being bad or mean or nonchalant or uncaring. You may see it as a test of your faith. Will you yield to the temptation to blaspheme? Remember, Job was asked by his wife to "curse God, and die."

"Then his wife said to him, "Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God, and die." But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this Job did not sin with his lips." (Job 2:9-10)

Are you going to throw in the towel? Of course, it is a common knowledge that Satan is a cheap shot artist. More often than not, he approach God and take cheap shot at His children like he did in Job 1:6-12 and Job 2:1-8. Then when next time Satan approach God with a petition against you, he will have something to say. "See that," the evil one may muse in the presence of God, "didn't I tell You. That person does not have genuine love of You in his (or her) heart. He (or she) is just serving You or fulfilling his (or her) so called ministry simply because of what is in it for him (or her)."

Friend, c'mon, let's prove Satan wrong. For the devil

"......come to steal, kill and destroy."

The same evil one is renown as a

"......liar from the beginning."

The same Satan, whose name is Lucifer, is identified as the

".......father of liars."

He is also identified as the

".......accuser of the brethren."

Lucifer is a nasty piece of work. He tempts people into doing things that will lower their credibility in the sight of God. Keep in mind, God does not tempt people, He only test us, not tempt us. Come to think of it, if Satan did approach God with a petition against you, wouldn't you want to bring glory to the LORD and shame on Satan by proving the devil wrong? C'mon, let's cause Satan to lose face in his kingdom for the umpteenth time by proving that he indeed is a liar. The scripture encouraged that

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (I Thessalonians 5:18)

Keep in mind, anything you do that brings glory and honour to God causes Satan and his cohorts to lose face.

God bless.

Yours

'Kunle Majek'

H I A F E M

Of impact, quality and excellence

That's the Spirit!

P.S.: I believe the Lord has used this piece to bless you. Why not share it with others.

To return to HIAFEM HomePage, click here.